Got a Sunset In My Veins
by awesomeperson379
Summary: Daniel Jackson always thought he knew what it meant to have a soulmate. Life turned out to be a lot more complicated than he expected. Colour-based soulmate au wherein Daniel is confused about a lot of things, mainly himself, but it turns out that's okay.


Up until he was four years old, Daniel thought that the world was exactly as he saw it. He had no notion that anything that existed outside his perception, that the world was much more complicated than it seemed at first glance.

He's pretty sure the first time he heard about soulmates it was in some kids movie he was watching, though he couldn't be sure. He was very young, and it was hard to remember. He might've heard his parents mention it, or someone at preschool.

Whatever the case, he did remember asking his mom what it meant.

She looked at him like she wasn't quite sure how to answer. "A soulmate is someone… special," was what she eventually said.

That hadn't really cleared things up for him, and he asked a lot more questions, as four year olds do. Most of what she'd said he'd forgotten, or hadn't understood at the time. The one thing he remembered clearly, though, was when he asked how you would know if someone was your soulmate.

"The colours," she said. "When you meet them, you see things differently. Everything is brighter, more… colourful." At his confused look, she added, "You'll understand when it happens."

Daniel didn't really get it. As far as he could tell, he saw colours just fine. He could tell them apart from one another, he even had a favourite colour (yellow). He didn't see how they could be different.

The first time he met a soulmate he understood immediately. He was in second grade and met a girl named Gabby. As soon as they introduced themselves, something changed.

Daniel remembered being five and putting on glasses for the first time. The world, which had seemed normal before, suddenly came into focus and became sharper, clearer. This was like that, multiplied by a thousand.

Everything around him suddenly became vibrant, alive, in a way it hadn't been before. The sky was… bluer, somehow. The dandelions in the school field were a gorgeous shade of yellow that Daniel never could've imagined.

Daniel could only gawk in amazement at the sight.

"Whoa," Gabby said, clearly taken by the sight as much as he was. "Do you know what that means?"

"We're soulmates," He replied, stunned.

She grinned back at him. "I think that means we're gonna be good friends."

And they were. From that moment on, they were practically inseparable.

Daniel, being naturally curious, often wondered what it really meant to be soulmates. Maybe the whole soulmate thing was a big hoax, just a random reaction that in turn became a self fulfilling prophecy. Were they really destined to become best friends, somehow? Or did they decide to stick together because the world was brighter when they were?

At some point, he decided that it didn't matter. They were friends, and they were happy, and the world was brighter. That was all that mattered.

A few months later, Daniel's parents died. He had to move, to go live in a foster home somewhere that seemed like a world away. As he drove away from his home for the last time, the colours drained away, the world becoming dull and grey and bleak.

You get many soulmates in your life, Daniel knew that well. There were always friends at school who made the grass greener when they were near.

But being soulmates didn't mean you were destined to be together forever.

He met Sarah in university, and as soon as he saw her, he was struck by radiant golden hair. He knew immediately that there was something between them.

They started dating, and she was amazing. They could talk for hours about history and linguistics, or sit next to each other silently while they did their separate work. It was the happiest he'd ever been.

But he took her for granted. His work became more important than anything, and their relationship became a mess of forgotten birthdays and anniversaries and date nights.

Then one one day she came up to him with a sadness in her eyes, eyes that had once been a warm brown but were now a dull grey.

That was when he realized, you weren't cosmically destined to be with a soulmate forever. It was a relationship that had to be maintained like any other, and could fade away if you didn't try.

You could lose anyone, soulmate or not.

Sometimes, it happened immediately. As soon as you met, the world sharpened around them. But sometimes the colours faded in so slowly that you almost didn't notice anything had changed.

After becoming something of a pariah in his field, Daniel hadn't had much luck forming positive relationships of any kind. He hadn't seen proper colours in years.

Then he met Catherine Langford.

At that moment, his life took a sharp turn in a direction he never in a million years could've predicted.

Things went by in a blur after that. He was translating, decoding symbols, trying to figure out what it all meant. Before he knew it he was stepping through a portal to another planet. The Stargate.

At first, Abydos looked much the same as earth. Meeting Shar'e didn't have the same instant spark as meeting Sarah had.

But, as the weeks went by and they spent time together, things started to change. The deserts outside became breathtaking shades of gold, and her eyes a rich, deep brown.

He decided to stay. It'd been a long time since he felt like this with anyone. It'd been so long, he could barely remember the last time he saw earth the way he now saw Abydos.

They defeated Ra. Daniel figured out how to dial the gate to send the rest of the team home. The gate opened, and Daniel barely contained a gasp at the sight of the event horizon, now shimmering with a thousand shades of blue.

Then the other men disappeared into it, and those blues drained away. That was when Daniel realized Shar'e had been too far for it to be because of her. He wasn't sure which of the others had been his soulmate, but he had a guess.

He tried not to think about it after that, and tried not to think about all the potential soulmates he'd left behind on Earth. He was happy here, he had Shar'e. That was enough.

They came back. Of course they did. Not a year later, and here they were again.

He stared at the Stargate, watched as those vibrant blues he remembered reappeared as soon as Colonel Jack O'Neill stepped through it.

Daniel grinned uncontrollably.

He showed them around, and promised that after the storm passed, he'd show them the writing he found. While they waited, they sat together in almost celebration, because everyone was glad to see them back.

Daniel realized he was buzzing with excitement. Excited they were here, excited about the possibility of other Stargates.

He took them see the cartouche he found, with the gate addresses. Or at least, that was what he thought they were.

After he showed them, Jack left to scan the perimeter, he was left alone with Samantha Carter, one of the new people they brought, talking about the Stargates.

"So," Daniel said, looking around the room. "Do you really think we'll be able to-" he cut himself off as he turned to Sam, swept away by soft blond hair and bright blue eyes. He could tell from her astonished expression that she saw it too.

"Whoa," she said. She was obviously surprised. He hadn't exactly been expecting this either.

He felt a warmth in his chest as a smile formed on his face. He was glad they'd come. He'd spent so long with not a soulmate in sight, and now he had three of them here with him.

He wondered what would happen now. Whether the three of them were destined to be together, somehow, or if he would have to say goodbye to Jack again, and to Sam for the first time. He decided not to worry about it right now.

They took Shar'e.

Daniel was in shock. He couldn't believe it. Minutes ago he'd been so happy, with the promise of three soulmates here with him. He hadn't even had time to enjoy it before it'd been snatched away.

So Daniel went back to Earth with Jack and Sam, to go after her. By the time he found her, she'd already become a Goa'ould host.

The moment Daniel saw her eyes glow, he felt his whole world fall apart. But he didn't give up then. He kept trying, kept looking for her, looking for any way to free her from the Goa'ould.

For three years it almost consumed him, because he had to find her, he _had_ to. But he couldn't save her. Despite everything he did, he was too late. She died right in front of him, he watched the life drain from her eyes.

Nothing was the same after that. Abydos was a shadow of what it had been when she was here. That exhilarating view of the golden sunset lighting up that sand dunes was gone, he knew he'd never see it again.

He hated being on Abydos after that. He couldn't stand to see it like this, so dull and lifeless. When he was there, her loss felt like an open wound. It felt empty. Most of his life did without her.

The emptiness lived in his chest for a long time after that. But he was never alone. He had his team, a family of three other soulmates who were always there for him.

The first night he after he returned from Abydos, he'd wandered the base alone, feeling helpless and lost. Jack found Daniel there and brought him home. He'd known Daniel needed a distraction, needed to be somewhere else.

There was something unspoken between them, but deep and warm and beautiful. Despite his anguish at Shar'e's loss, even then, was glad to be back with Jack O'Neill.

As he'd spent time with SG1, his bond with Sam deepened too. He'd known right away that they were soulmates, and soon he could see why.

They had a sort of chemistry, and got along almost effortlessly. When they talked she could match his excitement about matters of scientific curiosity, where Jack would tune him out almost immediately. Even in combat situations, they worked together surprisingly well, naturally moving to protect each other, communicating almost without words.

Daniel would be forever grateful that he'd had the chance to meet her.

With Teal'c, it'd happened even more slowly than with Jack. He was slow to trust, which he felt a little guilty about, but his wide-eyed optimism had left him when Shar'e did.

It took a couple of months. They were on a mission, he and Teal'c were alone investigating some Goa'ould artifacts while Sam and Jack investigated the area. Daniel looked up and was suddenly struck by the vibrant greens of there forest around them.

He'd glanced over at Teal'c, looking for a reaction. He wore an expression that to most people would be neutral, but Daniel could see the glint of wonder in his eye. Daniel felt a twinge of surprise at his ability to read Teal'c so effortlessly. He must've learned without even realizing.

Neither of them felt the need to say anything in that moment. They just stood together and enjoyed the view.

It was remarkable, really. The four of them, all soulmates to each other. They were family, assembled together from the farthest reaches of the galaxy. Sometimes it still amazed him that they all found each other.

After Shar'e's death, Daniel kept living, kept going on missions with the team. His family. As time went on, the emptiness inside him slowly started to ebb away.

He'd never belonged on Abydos, he finally admitted that to himself. With Shar'e, maybe. But not there. He'd been looking for a way to leave for most of the year he'd spent there, even if he hadn't realized that was what he was doing. Digging up the Stargate, investigating the cartouche - he was restless.

Though, he'd never really belonged on Earth either, at least not before the Stargate program. His erroneous theories were proof enough of that. He'd always longed for something more. Maybe all his talk about aliens was just him hoping against hope that something more was out there, waiting for him

Daniel didn't belong standing still.

Out there, travelling to new planets with the team, he belonged. He lived life in full colour, the striking greens of alien forests, the fiery skies of sunsets on unfamiliar planets. And always, always, the shimmering blues of the Stargate. The sight that felt like home.

* * *

**Anyway, SG1 are soulmates and you can't change my mind.**


End file.
